Exquisite Corpse
by Sorkrath
Summary: When Diana falls, everyone else falls with her. A series of loosely connected vignettes about the highs and lows of the Goodman family.
1. Blood

An entire life lay hidden in that box. All the evidence that Gabe Goodman had ever existed was concealed in that fortress of cardboard and packing tape. So much power in something so small. At first, Diana was afraid to open it. She felt as though the universe might unravel if she did. Everything would disappear and she would fall. It wasn't a box. No, it was a black hole. Slowly eating, pulling their house apart board by board. Devouring everything. Her pale hands trembled and she simply stared at it with that terrible, lost stare which Dan had come to know so well. Finally, she willed herself to open the box. No catastrophe ensued. The house was still standing. The ground beneath her feet was still solid. It was almost disappointing, really.

Carefully, she began to unpack it. The first item that caught her eye was a green baby blanket. She examined it for a moment before setting it aside. It seemed wrong. She barely remembered the blanket. No wave of grief or longing overcame her as she picked it up. Just a piece of fabric. That was all. She felt absolutely nothing, and that terrified her. A mother should feel _something_ when looking at the belongings of her dead child. But she was empty. A void. Perhaps it was she, not the box, that was a black hole. Consuming all the light with every breath.

Before she could dwell on this, she reached for another object: a small, wooden music box. She flipped it open and, in an instant, everything changed. It was as if she had been struck by lightning or pierced by a bullet. She sat still, her mouth slightly agape, as the melody poured over her. Time collapsed. She was back in Gabe's nursery. Exhausted. Rocking a sobbing infant in her arms. The music box played in the background. It was often the only thing that would stop his agonized crying. She had played it so many times that each note had become seared into her brain. She had since forgotten the song. Blocked it. But now the floodgates opened. Each note seemed to describe him: his silky blonde hair, his piercing blue eyes, his tiny, pristine hands…

How could Doctor Madden expect her to put this behind her? To move on? How was she supposed to forget his smile? His laugh? His tears. Was she supposed to do what Dan had done? Just shove all the memories in the back of a closet and try to lead a normal life? No. She had watched Dan being slowly eaten alive every day, the lines on his face growing steadily deeper, the fire in his eyes extinguished. If that was what sanity looked like-if that was what moving on looked like- she didn't want it.

Her hands grasped the music box so tightly that her knuckles turned bone white. She had to hold on. She couldn't lose her baby again. Dan was just jealous. Jealous that she could still see Gabe and he couldn't. Jealous that Gabe had chosen her over him. And now he was trying to pull them apart, trying to pull her apart from her baby. He and that Doctor, even Natalie. All trying to separate her from the one good thing she had left. She wouldn't let them take her Gabriel away. Hot tears ran down her face. She wouldn't. Her frail shoulders shuddered as she struggled to take a deep breath.

Suddenly, she felt a warm hand on her back, steadying her.

"Mom?" Gabe spoke gently, kneeling down and looking straight into her eyes, "You look so tired. What's wrong?"

She simply shook her head and turned away. Words refusing to form. But Gabe knew. He always knew what was on her mind.

"I'd never let them take me away from you. I promise."

Diana still said nothing. Gabe had made far too many promises over the years that he had failed to keep. They both sat quietly for a moment as the music box continued to play.

"You know, you could come with me." This got her attention.

"I could take you away from all this. Somewhere peaceful, where we could be happy again."

"Yes," she said, setting the music box on the side table, "I'd like that. I think it's time."

Gabe smiled. He handed her the key to his world. The key to open the void, the black hole. A box cutter. She hesitated. It had all seemed so simple in her mind, but now that the blade was actually in her hand, she couldn't bring herself to do it.

"I know it's scary, mom, but I'll be right here. You've been hurting for so long. Don't you want to be free?"

Free. She nodded, almost smiling, face streaked with tears. Free. With that word, all of her hesitations and doubts vanished. The razor glided through her skin, separating her soul from her flesh. The first cut burned. She could almost see her wrist glowing. Pulsating. But as the blood rushed from her veins, the burn dissipated and a strange warmth spread throughout her body. She didn't feel the second cut at all. Or the third. Or the fourth. Soon, her hands grew too heavy to hold the blade and she let it fall to the ground. Somewhere in the distance, the music box played on. Everything else was silence. Calm. No thoughts fighting in her brain, so loud she couldn't hear anything else. No yelling. Just the music box and silence.

As blood continued to flow, the warmth left her. She was falling now. Falling from some great height. Shivering in the night air. Her breathing shallow and her heart pounding. It was exhilarating. Everything seemed dark. Images concealed in swirling haze. The ground grew closer at an alarming speed. She crashed. Her cheek pressed against the hardwood floor, her crimson dress mingling with the growing pool of blood. A sickening, metallic smell permeated the air. Her face was relaxed but her eyes were those of a hunted animal. Searching for Gabe. For anyone. Anyone to reassure her, hold her hand. But Gabe was gone. He was always there the moment before but never the moment of. More broken promises.

She thought of Dan. He was probably reading downstairs, unaware of the storm raging above him. He had spent so many years trying to save her from herself. Through all the tears and sleepless nights, never once had he left her side. And she hadn't even said goodbye. Not even a note. She didn't want to die anymore. Not now, not like this. Using the last of her strength, she cried out.

"Dan!"

At first she wasn't sure if she had actually made a sound or if it was only in her head. But then there were frantic footsteps climbing the stairs. Running down the hall. She breathed a sigh of relief and let her eyes close. Everything faded to black.

Dan entered the room and froze, processing the scene before him. He uttered some inhuman sound between a scream and a sob, one hand gripping the doorframe. Trying not to collapse. He forced himself to move. Grabbed the phone from the shelf, dialed 9-1-1. The conversation was a blur. Everything was a blur. He somehow managed to tell the operator what had happened. They were sending an ambulance. The voice on the other end of the line tried to calm him, comfort him, but none of the words registered. He hung up and ran to his wife. Wrapped his sweater tightly around her wrists. Cradled her in his arms. He called her name. Over and over and over. She didn't respond. All the color had drained from her face. Her skin felt clammy and cold. But she was still breathing. She had to keep breathing. He couldn't lose someone again.


	2. Nightmare

_I hate you . _Natalie lay awake. Her body was exhausted but her mind was on fire, spinning out of control.

_I hate you I hate you I hate you. _Maybe, if she thought those words loudly enough, there would be no room for anything else and she would never have to think or feel ever again.

_I _

_Hate_

_You_

But Natalie didn't hate her mother. That would have made things far too simple. Hating is easy. It only exists in the mind. It can be compartmentalized. Rationalized. Controlled. But love is in the heart. Swimming through arteries and veins like a disease, infecting the entire body. Love can tear a person apart. And so Natalie convinced herself that she hated her mom. She shut out all the happy memories. The little, hopeful glimmers of light.

Like the day she had brought home a perfect report card and her mom had put it up on the fridge and told her how proud she was. Or the time the two of them had stayed up nearly all night watching bad movies and eating ice cream. Even the smallest things had to be forgotten. The way her mom's eyes lit up on the rare occasion that she genuinely smiled. The faint smell of perfume when she hugged her. Each moment was a glimpse of what might have been. A glimpse of what would never be. For those instants, Natalie knew what it felt like to be normal. Loved. Wanted. Coming back to reality after that was almost unbearable.

In the end, though, she could handle the memories. They weren't what terrified her. What truly shook her to the core was the constantly looming thought that, one day, she would become her mother. Every moment reminded her how similar they were. They had the same dry sense of humor. The same laugh. The same need for everything to be perfect and precise. Who was to say they didn't have the same demons, as well? One day she would be the one staring into the abyss. Trying to find herself. Falling. Maybe she already was.

She had to sleep. Stop thinking. Eyes refused to close. The glowing, red numbers on the clock by her bed pierced the darkness. Time ticked by impossibly slowly, each minute carrying the weight of an eternity. These sleepless, endless nights were going to crush her or drive her mad. Another minute. The clock knew she was suffering. It mocked her. The whole house mocked her. Another minute.

She pushed back the blankets and stood up, groping around blindly for the light switch. She flipped it on and immediately recoiled, shielding her eyes from the incandescent brightness. Stumbling slightly, she made her way to the dresser and opened the top drawer, hastily pushing clothes aside until she found what she was looking for: a pill bottle. The bottle opened with a satisfying pop and she choked down several of the little blue tablets, not even glancing at the label. Now it was just a matter of waiting. For the numbness. For the thoughts to stop. For sleep. She turned off the light and collapsed into bed.

It wasn't long before everything began to disintegrate. The air hummed with static. Faint kaleidoscopic images spread out across the ceiling. The line between the bed and the air seemed to soften and then vanish altogether. Everything buzzing. The moonlight streamed through the window and painted her like a ghost. Gaunt face. Pallid skin.

_You're pathetic._

It was something between a thought and a whisper.

_Pathetic__**.**_

The voice was stronger now. She shut her eyes tightly, trying to ignore it. Was this reality or a dream? Or both at once? The barrier between the two seemed so fragile.

_Why don't you just take the whole bottle now and end it? Don't you think they'd be better off without you?_

Natalie felt nauseous now. She wanted to get up. Run away. But her limbs wouldn't respond. She was faintly aware of a strange figure in the room, lurking just at the edge of her field of vision.

_Henry would be so disappointed. You promised him you'd stop. Even your lazy, stoner boyfriend thinks you're a failure._

The figure paused, as if waiting for a response.

_And what would dad think if he saw you like this? Don't you think he has enough to worry about already? You were supposed to make everything better. The perfect plan. _

The figure moved closer, sitting on the edge of the bed. He was not nearly so intimidating now. Only a boy. Not much older than her. He looked almost as tired as she did.

_I'm sorry...I didn't mean to hurt you. You know I'm only telling the truth._

"Leave me alone." Her voice was so ragged that it was barely recognizable.

_Mom acts like she can't even see me anymore. It's so lonely around here without her. I know how you feel. I know what it's like to be invisible._

_Just look at me. Please._

"No."

_I can help you, if you let me. Don't you trust your own brother?_

All at once, Natalie unfroze. Newfound energy coursing through her veins.

"No! I don't know what you are, but you're not my brother."

She sat up and clumsily lunged at Gabe, trying to shove him away. But her hands went right through him and she tumbled forward, landing with a thud on the floor.

She heard her parents' door open. Footsteps.

"Natalie?" Dan sounded only half awake. "I thought I heard something. Are you ok?"

Shit. She couldn't deal with this right now.

"Nat?" he knocked and then stepped into her room.

The beam of light from the hall cast uncanny shadows over everything.

"Nat, what happened? What's wrong?"

He rushed over to her and helped her up. Finally, she mustered up a response.

"I'm fine, really." she said, painfully aware of how unconvincing she sounded. "I guess I just had a bad dream."

"Sweetheart, you look sick. Are you sure you're alright?"

Under normal circumstances, she would have brushed her dad off with some snide remark. She wasn't five years old anymore. She didn't need anyone to comfort her after a nightmare or check for monsters under her bed. She could deal with the monsters on her own. But not tonight. Before she could even think, she wrapped her arms around Dan, hugging him as though her life depended on it. Everything was falling to pieces. Turning to dust. But he was still there. Always there. For the first time since her mom had gone away to the hospital, she let herself cry. The world was deathly still. Neither of them knew what to say, but it didn't matter. What remained unspoken was more powerful than words could ever be.


End file.
